Breaking Free
Transforming Anger into Strength
My Anger Journey
I learned about anger at an early age. Growing up with a critical and abusive father, fear dominated my childhood. But beneath that fear, anger simmered quietly, waiting to surface. By my teen and young adult years, it showed up as rebellious and self-destructive choices.
When my parents divorced and my father moved out, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief and freedom. But I now realize that my “wild” behavior during that time was my unhealthy way of releasing years of pent-up anger.
As a young adult, I began to confront my pain and start the process of healing. But healing isn’t linear, and I made plenty of mistakes along the way—mistakes that led to consequences I never anticipated.
There was a season in my life when I hit rock bottom. I experienced profound loss, rejection, and isolation. It was a time of deep judgment from others and a time when I felt abandoned by everyone I loved. It seemed as though my life had completely fallen apart and, for a time, I lost all hope.
But in those darkest moments, I experienced one invaluable truth: I was alone, but I wasn’t truly alone.
Through it all, I found a source of strength that sustained me. For me, this was my faith—a belief in a Love that never let me go, even when I felt utterly broken. That Love gave me purpose in my pain, and now I feel called to offer comfort to others who are struggling.
But this road has not been easy. It’s been full of loss, heartbreak, rejection, betrayal, and, yes, anger.
Processing Anger
Anger is natural. It’s a response to being hurt, wronged, or witnessing injustice. During my journey, I’ve encountered these feelings often - not just for myself, but for others.
I’ve seen firsthand how deeply injustice can cut. It breaks my heart to think about the vulnerable people I’ve met who were treated unfairly, and even at times cruelly, in their weakest moments. These experiences have certainly brought up a great deal of anger for me at times. But I’ve also learned that anger doesn’t have to destroy us. It can be a starting point for healing.
The first step is understanding that anger itself isn’t good or bad—it’s simply an emotion. What matters is what we do with it. Suppressing anger doesn’t make it go away; it just buries it, allowing it to fester and hurt us further.
Acknowledging it and giving yourself permission to feel angry without blaming or shaming yourself is important. Then, find a healthy way to express it. Talk to a trusted friend or counselor. Write about it. Channel it into something physical or creative.
For example, I’ve found that art can be a powerful outlet. Some of my most therapeutic moments have involved pouring my emotions into a messy, imperfect project that no one but me will ever see. It’s not about talent; it’s about release.
(Kim’s Art Emotional Outlet - as you can see, no artistic talent necessary)
But here’s the thing—anger is often just the surface. Beneath it lies hurt, fear, or sorrow. To truly heal, you have to dig deeper and allow yourself to grieve the losses that fuel your anger.
Letting Go
Letting go of anger is a process, and it often requires forgiveness—not for the benefit of the person who hurt you, but for your own freedom. Forgiveness isn’t about excusing someone’s behavior or minimizing your pain. You are not letting anyone “off the hook” by forgiving them. This is for you; this is about letting yourself “off the hook”. It’s about choosing to release the bitterness that holds you captive.
This takes time, and it’s okay to revisit the process as often as needed. There are days when I have to make the conscious choice to surrender the losses and injustices in my life again and again, because I refuse to give them power over me.
Sometimes, forgiveness also involves extending grace to yourself. We all make mistakes, and we’re all capable of hurting others, even unintentionally. Recognizing our own imperfections can help us find compassion for those who’ve hurt us.
Moving Forward
One thing that has helped me is trusting in a greater sense of justice. Whether you call it karma, the universe, or something else, I believe that no one truly “gets away” with causing harm. Justice may not come in the way or timing we expect, but I’ve learned to let go of the need to control it.
Instead, I focus on what I can control—how I treat others, how I process my emotions, and how I let go of what no longer serves me.
This perspective has transformed my anger into something constructive. Instead of letting it destroy me, I’ve allowed it to deepen my empathy, fuel my advocacy, and strengthen my sense of purpose.
If you’re struggling with anger, pain, or resentment, I want to challenge you to take the first step toward healing. Acknowledge your pain. Let yourself feel it, then find a way to release it—whether it’s through creativity, movement, or quiet reflection.
Most importantly, don’t let the past hold you captive. Resentment won’t change what happened, but it will rob you of your peace and joy.
Healing is a journey, and it won’t happen overnight. Be patient and compassionate with yourself. Whether you lean on faith, community, or self-discovery (or better yet, all three), know that you’re not alone.
You are stronger than you think, and there is freedom waiting on the other side of your pain.
With all my heart,
So well said!! Thank you Kim